I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
