i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
