You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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