3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
