I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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