capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
