The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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