i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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