Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
