So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
