and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
