2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you inspire me to be a worse person
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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