don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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