You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
