I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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