I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
