shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize