If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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