This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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