just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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