MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
