Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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