just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
