Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
it's like iHOP with fire
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
