And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
