I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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