We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
