There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
