I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
false alarm. still invincible.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
