she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
