we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
