We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
