i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize