so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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