I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
