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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize