Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
