Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
