and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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