I can text with my tongue
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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