it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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