I'm drive I can fine osifer
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
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Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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