2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
this hospital has no fireball
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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