Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
