i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
