How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
