her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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