The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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