Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize