at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
