Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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