Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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