Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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