Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
