Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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