My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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