One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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