Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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